Taken this morning from the parking lot at work

So the day dawns on my first in-the-trenches battle.

I'm pretty darn nervous because they can tell you exactly what's going to happen, but you still don't know. You don't know what your experience is going to be like. Will I have any adverse reactions to any of the drugs? Will my port work properly? How bad are the sensations during the pushes? Will my veins burn? Will I have hot flashes, heart palpitations, cramping, nausea, a horrible taste in my mouth? Ahhhhhh! >.<

Okay, I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat, but I have been doing that pretty well through this process so far and I think I'm entitled to a little fear and trepidation right now! This is it. This is THE battle. Everything that has come before has just been in preparation for this war. My cancer will live or die based on what happens today and the subsequent chemo sessions.

I have done everything I can to get ready. I have all the stuff the doctors recommended I get, I have my prescriptions, I have my food, I have my books, I have my laptop ready with a brand new bitchin' RPG game (Dragon Age: Origins) and I have "Project Runway" that I recorded last night on DVD. (Thank goodness I can bring my laptop to chemo!)

I came in early to work this morning so I can at least get half a day in before I go. We get 60 hours a year for personal time off and those hours have been slipping through my fingers like water. I now have about 11 hours left. That, plus vacation time, would do me through the end of the year IF my employer hadn't once again decided to make us take two weeks off (unpaid) at Christmas. *sigh* Oh well. I'll worry about finances when there's something to worry about. I'm okay right now. Right now I gotta concentrate on winning this battle!

Today I had my chemo education class at the cancer center. The nurse went over all the basics, as well as specifics regarding my actual chemo cocktail (ABVD). There's a lot of stuff you have to keep in mind and some things you can't do. I had to cancel my dental cleaning in December and I can't floss any more because they don't want your mouth to bleed. In the same vein, they don't want you to shave in case you nick yourself. You can't get manicures and pedicures and if you do your own nails, you can't cut your cuticles. If you garden or wash dishes, you have to wear gloves. Basically you just have to be super careful not to cut yourself or expose yourself to possible infections.

On the food front, I'm supposed to eat six small meals a day and of course drink as much water as possible to flush out the chemicals. If I get nausea, I've been prescribed a couple different medications...compazine and ativan.

On the day of chemo itself, I'm supposed to eat beforehand and I can bring snacks if I want, as long as they don't have a strong odor. My session should last about four hours. For entertainment, the chemo lounge has TVs, and I can bring my laptop. They have internet access so depending on how I feel I may be able to blog during treatment. We'll see!

They suggest not eating your favorite foods during chemo so as not to tie an unpleasant or nauseous experience to it and maybe ruining your love of that food, so tomorrow night is pizza night one last time! (At least for a while...)

The American Cancer Society has a program called "Look Good...Feel Better" that provides women going through cancer treatment beauty tips to help combat the side effects of chemo and radiation. You also get free makeup! *grin*

I went to one of their programs yesterday and it was definitely worthwhile. It was fun to visit with other cancer patients in a relaxing atmosphere (as opposed to the chemo room >.<) and the instructor gave some great tips and advice.

Each person gets their own kit of makeup and opening it up and going through it was like Christmas! ^_^ Each person's contents were different, but we all got the full compliment of makeup (cleanser, foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, lip liner, lipstick and lip gloss.) It's all different companies that have donated the makeup for this program. I got stuff from Clarion, Clinique, Bobbie Brown, Almay, Avon, Mary Kay, etc. Here's my loot! ;P



Also on the plus side, I received my first card yesterday from my Chemo Angel. If you haven't heard of this support organization, it's wonderful! It's a site that matches up chemo patients with volunteers. These volunteers will send cards and little gifts every week to their chemo patient for the duration of that person's treatment. As their website says, they want to help bring a ray of sunshine to cancer patients lives during this difficult time. I may be on the receiving end right now, but you'd better believe that when I'm done with my treatments I will be volunteering to be an Angel!

So who says having cancer is all bad? ^_~ Hey, you gotta look at the bright side as much as possible, right? This is an adventure I would never have chosen to go on, but since I'm on it and there's no turning back, I'm going to make sure there's some enjoyment in the trip!

Happy Halloween, everybody! ^_^

Here's a quick pic of my costume...it's not exactly how I want it - I need to get a black and gold striped skirt to go under the bustle skirt, and I need a less stiff white blouse, but I think it's still cute!



I don't have any plans for today, but I'll still dress up this evening in case of trick or treaters. :)

Well, it's three days post-op and I definitely feel better! The incisions ache, and I wake up stiff and sore because I can't roll over on my right side like normal, but for the most part, I'm feeling as normal as I can, considering. :)

Here's my new best friend, Portia...lol



At least, she'd better be my best friend! I won't find out until next week when they try and use the port whether it'll work or not. There have definitely been horror stories about ports not working properly and having to go back into surgery to get it fixed. >.< But Portia isn't gonna let me down! Right? Right??!!

It's good to be back at work and immersing myself in my normal routine. My office mate is out sick with the H1N1 flu, though, so it's just me in here. Today I get to design some Christmas card ideas, so that should be fun. ^_^ After work I have another acupuncture appointment. I may or may not continue with those...I'd like to, but a couple of the needles hurt on Thursday (and yes, I told him!) and I don't want to do anything where I have to dread needle pain, no matter how good for me it is! We'll see how today goes...

Well, my port is in!

Yesterday went okay...the things about it that were better than last time were:

1. My mom came with me and stayed until they took me to the operating room.
2. My nurse was not only nice, but experienced and did what she could to keep me from freaking out about the IV needle.
3. It was at 11:00 instead of 8:00, so I didn't have to get up at 5:30 in the morning.
4. Either they didn't stick a tube down my throat this time or they did something different because I had no sore throat or coughing fits like last time.

The things that were worse:

1. I was going in for a more involved procedure, which included leaving with something I didn't arrive with!
2. There was an old lady in a pre-op room across from me complaining about her port and how she hated it and everything went wrong with it. NOT WHAT I NEED TO HEAR AT THAT TIME!! *wry grin* My nurse went to ask the lady to please keep it down.
3. My anesthesiologist put in my IV and her bedside manner and technique sucked. I don't think she even had it in the vein (on the back of my hand) because in the surgery room when they were running the sleeping drugs into the IV, it BURNED like hell all over the back of my hand. I didn't feel a thing during the last surgery. >:(

I was pretty wiped out when I got home at 2:30. My surgeon was unable to get the catheter into the subclavical vein in my chest and had to run it up into my jugular. That freaks me out a little bit. And I just ache. Last night I took two Vicodin and thank goodness they worked. I got a pretty decent night's sleep.

I've been melancholy the past couple of days and haven't snapped out of it yet. This port is so tangible and REAL. Before it was so easy to ignore the cancer because I felt fine. Now I've got this medical thing in my chest I can't take out and it will drive me crazy if I continue to think about it.

Well, I'm off to try and distract myself - everyone have a great weekend!

Well, tomorrow is the big day to get my port installed! I'm kinda nervous only because I hate the idea of having something foreign in my body on a permanent basis. I'll have to keep it in until a few months after chemo ends, so at least eight months. I really feel like today is my last day of "being normal". :( Tomorrow at this time I will have a new scar and a bump in my chest that signals the beginning of the treatment phase.

In case you're curious, here's the port I'm having installed (a Smart Port)...


Then it's a two-week wait until chemo starts.

In the meantime, I have an acupuncture appointment this afternoon, and have scheduled to see my Reiki practitioner the week of my chemo. On the diet front, I have stayed away from all soda and coffee drinks, I have had only one Taco Bell bean burrito (on my trip up to Portland) and two pizzas and one tostada in the past month. I've significantly increased my fruit and vegetable intake and (except for the exceptions listed above) have had no processed food. My mom continues to make delicious and healthy dinners and I have lost 10 pounds in the last three months. I'm a size 10 again - whoo! :)

I'm staying pretty positive, but I have to admit it's pretty easy when I have no symptoms except swollen lymph nodes and itchy skin...I may be singing a different tune after I start chemo. >.< Still, I am being proactive and doing what I can ahead of time to hopefully minimize the chemo side effects.

I'm still spending a lot of time on the internet researching a million different things...I haven't done any art yet. I'm hoping once chemo starts I'll be able to relax a little bit and start painting again. Poor "Mardi Gras Masquerade", still undone! *wry grin*

I've been terribly remiss in posting any pics of my new wig! I got my wig a few weeks ago and haven't worn it yet, but today I went back to my stylist to have the bangs trimmed a little bit. I'm actually wearing it to work today and it feels very conspicuous, but my coworkers assure me it looks fabulous and totally real! :) Here's a quick snapshot...



I'll take better pics later on, but I just wanted to give y'all a peak!

Well, yesterday was my day to travel to Portland to meet Dr. Nichols, one of the best oncologists to specialize in Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's a 270 mile drive, which I wasn't looking forward to, but I talked my dad into going with me, so at least I didn't have to drive the whole way by myself. Thanks, dad! :)

I got up to Portland at 12:45 and met with Dr. Nichols and his resident assistant. The first thing he said to me was, "You don't need a bone marrow biopsy...I'll tell Dr. Rizvi to cancel it." Wow! I'd known Dr. Nichols for only 15 seconds and I already loved him! LOL

He was very straight forward and not at all worried about me. He confirmed I had Stage 2A and that it was not unusual or complicated -- he expects a full cure. I had misunderstood what a "cycle" was, though, when I originally talked to Dr. Rizvi, because I thought 4-6 cycles meant 4-6 infusions, but each cycle is two infusions, so I'm going to get twice the chemo I thought I was going to get. I'll most likely be on chemo until March. Well, as long as I'm healthy and strong by summer! :)

The visit to Dr. Nichols was very much worth the 550 mile round trip drive. It was very reassuring to know the Hodgkin's expert was not concerned. I have a very straight forward case and things should go smoothly. The only question is how I'll react to chemo, but I won't know that until Nov. 6th.

Today I had both the pulmonary function test and the echocardiogram. Both took about 40 minutes each, but no needles were involved, thank goodness! As expected, I checked out just fine, so, with the exception of the lymphoma, of course, I have a clean bill of health.

So my next doctor's appointment is next Friday to install the port. I'll be sure to post pics of the new acquisition that'll live my chest for the next six months just to creep y'all out! lol

I had my oncologist appointment yesterday to go over the results of my tests and stage my lymphoma. My doctor showed me my PET scan and I saw the various lymph nodes that are "active" with cancer cells. There's several node clusters affected in my neck, armpit and chest, but they are all above the diaphragm, so it is Stage 2. That, of course, is contingent on not having any cancer cells in my bone marrow - if the lymphoma is in my bone marrow, it is automatically a Stage 4. Of course my doctor told me again he really wants to do a bone marrow biopsy, and we had the following conversation:

Me: "I'll have chemo, regardless of the stage, right?"
Doctor: "Yes"
Me: "And even with stage 2, I'll have enough chemo cycles to warrant getting a port, right?"
Doctor: "Yes"
Me: "Soooo...can you get the bone marrow during my surgery to put my port in?"
Doctor: *pause* "Yeah, I guess that can be done."
Me: "Alrighty, then!" ^_^

HA! Now I don't have to be conscious during the bone marrow biopsy - whoo! I got the idea from a post I read at a Hodgkin's lymphoma support group on Facebook and you should have seen me after I read it...I kept muttering, "Genius! That's genius!!" as I left the office, walked to my car and drove home. lol

So even though we don't have the bone marrow biopsy results yet, and I haven't seen Dr. Nichols for the second opinion on treatment yet, we have enough information for a plan. Here's my plan so far:

10/14: Drive up to Portland and see Dr. Nichols for a second opinion
10/15: Get pulmonary function test to check lungs before starting chemo
10/16: Get echocardiogram to test heart before starting chemo
10/23: Surgery to install the port and take bone marrow biopsy
11/4: Eduction class on chemo and what to expect
11/6: First round of chemo

So my recommended treatment at this time is 4-6 cycles of ABVD chemo, one infusion every two weeks. After 4 cycles, I'll have another PET scan to see how I'm responding and we'll go from there.

It's such a relief to have a plan! It's been two months since this journey began and it was unsettling to have so much up in the air for so long. But I do appreciate the time - it gave me a chance to do a lot of research, which has helped immensely. I feel educated and in control of my disease and the treatment. I have not let the doctors run roughshod over me and make decisions without my express understanding and approval. I did not make the decision to accept chemotherapy lightly. I am very against injecting an indiscriminate poison into my body that has no guarantee that it'll kill what it is supposed to kill. I have to accept that I'm destroying my healthy cells and hope I'm killing the cancer cells as well. There are numerous long-term side effects that have to be taken into consideration, especially considering how young I am.

Still, I have the one cancer that is supposed to respond wonderfully to chemo and have at least a 90% cure rate. I will go through this because it is part of my life path. If the lymphoma comes back after remission, then we'll make another decision at that time. I will do everything I can to ensure that doesn't happen, though, which first and foremost includes diet and exercise!

I have a new lifestyle now, and it is much healthier than my old. I will come out of this wiser, healthier and stronger than ever!

Well, Friday afternoon I had my PET/CT Scan. Another test over and done with, thank goodness!

It wasn't too bad, but it had some strict dietary restrictions. I couldn't eat 6 hours before the test, and if I did eat prior to that six hours it had to be only protein. No starches or sugars, not even fruit. My appointment was at 1:30, so I couldn't eat anything after 7:30, but since I didn't want to eat any proteins, I skipped the food thing altogether.

I did, however, have to drink a ton of water, before and after (especially after). I was going to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes all day! I think I drank about 80 oz of water throughout the day, which more than twice my normal intake.

The test itself was pretty boring. The only part that caused anxiety for me was the IV, of course. *wry grin* I did get a prescription to Xanax, though, and I was allowed to have one before the test. I've never taken Xanax or any other type of anti-anxiety medication and I don't know if it worked, but I assume it did. The technician was very good at finding a vein and the nurse held my hand while he inserted the needle, so I did okay. After that I had to sit in a lounge chair for an hour and drink a disgusting sugary, thick syrup. Once that had a chance to circulate through my body, it was time to go in the machine. I'm glad I'm not claustrophobic at least because you have to hold completely still and be in that machine for 25 minutes for the PET scan. The CT scan was only about 5 minutes and not nearly as uncomfortable, although the hot flashes from whatever they inject into you feels weird. I was very glad when it was over!

So my appointment with my oncologist to go over the test results is this Wednesday at 1:30. We'll hopefully start getting some answers about staging!

I'm so excited - yesterday I ordered a food dehydrator! ^_^ I cannot wait to get it! After a lot of research, I decided to get the 5-tray Excalibur dehydrator. This thing can do it all!

Having a dehydrator will open up a whole new world of healthy food possibilities. Besides the obvious dried fruits, jerky and trail mix, you can make wholesome and delicious energy bars, fruit rollups, chips, and much, much more. The amount of recipes is amazing! It dries flowers, herbs, spices, everything you need to preserve fresh ingredients for later use. You can dehydrate fruit while it's in season and use it later when it's not. As soon as I get my dehydrator I'm drying at least a couple of pounds worth of apples and pears! *grin*

I absolutely love the amount of control I'll have over what I eat. No more reading labels at the grocery store to make sure there's nothing in that breakfast bar it I don't want. No more just settling for whatever the company decides to use in their chips - I can add whatever ingredient and flavoring I desire. My ingredients, my choice. I feel so empowered!

As you can see, I'm totally giddy about this! lol I should get my dehydrator in about a week and I'll let you know how things go!

Well, today I met my oncologist. As I figured, there was no new information he could tell me in regards to my specific case - he still needs to run tests. I had three vials of blood drawn and will be scheduled for a PET/CT scan later this week. I have another appointment with him next Wednesday to go over the test results. I hope to get more information then. The next step will probably be a bone marrow biopsy, which scares me quite a lot, and I told him so. I have a severe case of belonephobia (fear of needles) and I start hyperventilating and crying when faced with injections. I only barely held it together today just getting my fricking blood drawn...I chattered incessantly during the procedure and scratched at my neck with my other hand without really realizing I was doing it. If I'm this freaked out for a stupid blood draw, how am I supposed to deal with the PET/CT scan and chemo itself??? *sigh* I'm mentioning my uber-wussiness because I've read many blogs of people's journey with cancer and none of them mention their reactions to treatments other than "oh, it hurt, but wasn't that bad", or "it was less than pleasant, but I got through it". When I say, "I had a panic attack and embarrassed myself by screaming and crying in front of nurses and other patients" I feel completely alone. If there are other people that react like I do, I don't want them to feel alone, too.

Anyway, after all the tests are run, I'm supposed to go up to Portland to see another doctor for a second opinion of treatment. My doctor said he wanted to schedule me with Dr. Craig Nichols, who was Lance Armstrong's doctor during his cancer battle. Apparently, Dr. Nichols specializes not only in testicular cancer, but lymphoma as well. I don't really want to drive up to Portland, but I do want a second opinion, and he's a very well respected oncologist. We'll see if that comes to fruition.

So, no news yet on a prognosis. I will continue to eat healthy and hope for the best!

I've been doing pretty good the past week...I bought a wig on Monday and it's adorable - I'll have to take pics and post this weekend! :)

Basically what I've been doing this week is A LOT of research. I found a wonderful book last Saturday called "Anticancer: A New Way of Life" by David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD. A must-read for cancer patients and their loved ones! A wonderfully written book by a doctor that had brain cancer twice, and survived, it is chock full of interesting studies, heart-wrenching stories and a positive, thoughtful message about how what we eat is so vitally important to our health.

One of the first questions I think anyone who is diagnosed with cancer asks is, "Why me? How did I get it?". Unless it's lung cancer due to smoking or some other very obvious reason, people rarely ever find out why they succumb and others don't. We all have cancer cells in us all the time, but a normally functioning body will keep them in check. It is only when the cancer cells have a chance to multiply in the millions and form a tumor that you have a problem.

What causes the cancer cells to proliferate and overwhelm your body's natural defense system? Hundreds of things can cause this, from environmental factors to lifestyle to mental attitude to diet to genetics. In my case, my body's "terrain" was ripe for the cancer cells to multiply.

First of all, I ate the Standard American Diet (SAD). My meals were chock-full of refined food, including an appalling amount of refined sugar. If you think that the only consequence of sugar is added calories - it's not!. Refined sugars spike your glycemic levels and cancer cells feed off these sugars. Everyone knows in the back of their mind that none of the fast food or microwave dinners or junk food or soda is good for them, but I don't think they really understand what it's actually doing to their body. I'm not trying to lecture, but refined and processed foods are amazingly bad for your health. Don't let cancer be your wake-up call. Educate yourself before you develop a chronic illness!

My typical day started with a caramel mocha, and two bean burritos from Taco Bell for lunch. Dinner was a crap shoot - mostly TV dinners or maybe even more fast food. I snacked on Doritos and candy whenever I felt like it and drank Pepsi a couple times a day. What's worse than what I did eat, was what I didn't eat - I almost never ate any vegetables or fruit, no whole grains, no raw nuts, no supplements to make up for what I wasn't getting. I never once thought about the consequences. I felt fine. Sure, I was about 20 pounds overweight, but I didn't look bad. What was there to worry about?

On top of that, I had almost no exercise. All my jobs have been sedentary. All my hobbies are sedentary. The most exercise I got was walking up and down the stairs to get to my office at work and walking in the mall on the weekends.

The consequences for the lack of exercise is not just unwanted pounds and weak muscles. You are depriving your lymphatic system of circulation (since it has no heart to pump it through the body like blood has) and you are depriving your cells of oxygen.

To stack on top of that, I drank very little, if any, water. Water is essential!!! You must drink water to encourage the flow of your lymphatic system and make sure you are properly hydrated and able to flush toxins from your body.

And for 10 months last year I was very depressed, which is an unusual state for me - I am naturally upbeat and cheerful. There have been many studies exploring the connection between the mind and the body and there is little doubt they affect each other. Sadness, depression, anger, stress - they can all cause negative reactions to your body, especially if they are chronic.

Genetics, of course, play a role in the state of your health and your possible susceptibility to various illness. This has not been proven to outweigh lifestyle, however. Asians have a much lower rate of cancer than Westerners, yet when they move to the U.S. or adopt the Western eating habits in their own country, their risks rise to the same as ours. Identical twins have had one sibling succumb to cancer and the other never get it.

So the biggest thing we can do for our health is change our lifestyle to eat healthy and exercise. It sounds trite, and it is said over and over again, but obviously people are not listening because obesity, high cholesterol, cancer, heart disease, and other chronic illnesses plague our nation. An avoidable epidemic, it is sad how many people spare no thought to what they eat. It's not about "counting calories", "low fat" or "no carbs" or any of the other dieting catch-phrases. It's so very simple - DON'T EAT REFINED, PROCESSED FOODS.

Eat fresh fruits and vegetables, juiced or whole. Eat raw nuts, seeds, whole grains. Drink lots of water, filtered if you're not sure of its contents. Be careful with fish, dairy, poultry and meat - know where it comes from and what it's been fed! Regardless, keep all meat and dairy consumption to a minimum, if not avoided altogether. Prepare your meals from scratch, so you know everything that's in it. Avoid refined sugars, processed foods, junk food, fast food, and restaurant food. Does this cut out everything you love to eat? Yeah, me too. *wry grin* But my cavalier attitude about food is one of the reasons I'm in this mess. And I know many people will say, "Oh, I don't have the time to prepare meals or shop for fresh produce all the time." Well, doctor appointments and trips to the pharmacy take up time, too. Time off work due to illness costs money. Make health a priority. I certainly have.

This past week I have had no refined sugar. I've been eating fresh blueberries, nectarines, pineapple and carrots. I've been eating raw almonds, and even made my own almond butter to spread on spelt crackers. I've been blessed with a mother that is taking this health journey with me and we made the most delicious tomato basil soup last night with nothing but fresh organic ingredients. I've been drinking a lot more water and enjoying green tea in the evening. I haven't started an exercise regime yet, but I am going to buy that rebounder that I was looking at back in December last year. That is absolutely the best exercise for stimulating the lymphatic system. I can't wait to get it!

I'm sorry for rambling so much, but I am very passionate about this issue. We have the power to improve our health and so many of us do not exercise that power! It took being diagnosed with cancer to make me realize what I was doing to my body and to do something about it - I just hope that it's not too late to do any good.

My oncology appointment is Tuesday at 11:30. I'll keep you all posted with what my prognosis is and what is in store for me next.

As mentioned yesterday, I went to my salon and got my hair cut short! I've had short hair many times before, but it's been a while...I was growing it out, but never really did anything with it except put it in a pony tail or clip it up. So this is much better - I'll look cute every day instead of only when I feel like styling my hair! *grin*

My mom took a couple of pics - one with my beautiful Tristan! ^_^





The second picture you might see again Photoshopped with an elf ear...that ear tip is just crying out to be pointed! lol On the top pic you can kinda see the largest swollen lymph node under my earring. Man, it's the size of a quail egg. >.< And yeah, I still have my butterfly bandages on from the surgery...they come off on Monday.

So today has been a totally fun day! Tonight I think we'll watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. ^_^

Hey, it turns out September is Lymphoma Awareness Month! Well, let me tell you - I'M AWARE OF LYMPHOMA K THX!!! *wry grin*

Violet is the color for Hodgkin's Lymphoma and I am definitely getting a t-shirt from the Hopes & Dreams store...

I like this one:


I am also definitely going to do a painting for Hodgkin's Lymphoma Awareness. I was going to do a Breast Cancer Awareness painting for next month, but considering the circumstances, I feel it is much more appropriate for me, personally, to promote awareness of Hodgkin's.

As for how I'm doing, I'm pretty upbeat right now, considering. I'm going to get my hair cut short this weekend to some fun pixie cut to help me transition when I start chemo. Luckily I've had short hair many times and I look cute, so I'm looking forward to it. ;)

Monday I have an appointment with my surgeon to get my stitches out and I'm also going to a hair/wig salon to try on wigs. Everyone pretty much agrees it's best to try on wigs and get one before you start chemo and lose your hair! I'm looking forward to this also, as I love wigs! ^_^

Tomorrow is "Talk Like a Pirate" day, so I'll make sure to put on my new pirate costume and take pics!

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

I realize it's been a while since I've posted any new art. I still haven't finished "Mardi Gras Masquerade" and she's about 90% done. I'm afraid I haven't done any art lately because my life has been turned upside down.

For the past six weeks I have been on a quest to find out why the lymph nodes in my neck had swollen. I noticed a swollen lymph node back in June and wasn't too concerned until not only did it not go away, but it was joined by three others. I immediately went to the doctor and she started me on a battery of tests - blood test, X-ray, ultrasound, fine needle biopsy - the latest one was a surgery biopsy last Friday to completely remove one of the offending lymph nodes.

The surgeon called today and gave me the diagnosis...as feared, I have Hodgkin's lymphoma - nodular sclerosis type.

Stage and treatment have not been determined yet - I have to see an oncologist. As I type this, I am waiting for a call from their office to tell me when I've been scheduled.

This is not a complete surprise...when you have swollen lymph nodes that don't go away, of course lymphoma is your first thought. Still, hearing the diagnosis is hard. Yes, it's a very treatable cancer. Yes, the cure rate is very high. Yes, I live in an area with one of the best oncology units in the country. These are the positive things. As for the negatives, I will deal with them as they arise. I am scared and upset, of course, but I have a strong support group of family, friends, and co-workers. I am very grateful to everyone who sent positive vibes and prayers for me during this past month. I love you all!

I will keep everyone posted as I continue this journey. I hope to find out a stage and set up a treatment schedule soon.

It is my pleasure to announce that the company I work for - Erickson Air-Crane - has a one-hour documentary that will air on the National Geographic channel on Thursday, September 17th at 8:00 pm.

Man-Made, Aircrane:Extreme Helicopter

It will show us building a broadcast tower in Nevada, fighting fires in Italy, and harvesting timber in Canada. It was filmed early last year and has already aired on Nat Geo Int'l in the UK and other countries back in March, but this is its big debut on American television. I don't know if the editing is exactly the same between the international version and the U.S. version, but if it is, I'm in it for a brief second in a conference room scene - whoot! ^_^

So check it out if you can - the aircrane is a very cool helicopter!!!

[/end of shameless plug] ^_~

The past week or so I've decided I wanted to get a new Halloween costume this year - I have several witchy outfits and a couple of nice fairy costumes, but I wanted something a little different. I was thinking either steampunk or pirate. I did a lot of searching locally and online and finally decided on a pirate for two reasons:

1. There's a costume contest at my work and believe me...very few there will have any idea of what steampunk is, but they'll all know what a pirate is. *grin*

2. I fell absolutely in love with this one gal's work...Damsel in this Dress has the most awesome corsets and "coats". I couldn't resist her pirate frock! ^_^

So I bought this...it's actually two parts - the black "frock" with detachable sleeves and a gold underbust corset.



I already have a skirt, blouse and boots I think will work with it, but I need to make a tricorn hat. That'll be a blast, though - getting netting, feathers and flowers to glue to a simple base. That's about as involved as I want to get this year with "making" my costume!

And as a bonus, I should get this corset in time to wear it for "Talk Like a Pirate Day" - ARRRRRH! ;)

Questions to answer - I don't tag, so if you wanna do it, go for it! :)

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:15.

2. How do you like your steak? Medium rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now, So You Think You Can Dance

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I always thought this was a silly question – there’s literally a whole world out there of places I’ve never seen or even heard of…how can I choose when I don’t know all the options? Now, where would I live out of all the places I’ve actually been to? Right where I’m living now; Southern Oregon.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Café mocha

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian.

8. What foods do you dislike? Vegetables and seafood.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Standing Stone

10. Favorite dressing? Catalina

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? ’04 Ford Explorer

12. What are your favorite clothes? My jeans and a baby doll t-shirt.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Outside the U.S.? British Columbia, UK, Western Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Egypt.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on my mood

15. Where would you want to retire? I am 30 years away from retiring…I have no idea where I’ll want to live at that time.

16. Favorite time of day? Early morning

17. Where were you born? San Jose, CA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? I don’t watch any.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? NA

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? NA

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? N/A

22. Bird watcher? Nope.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning

24. Do you have any pets? Tristan! *huggles puppy*

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? What’s this word “exciting” that you speak of?

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A veterinarian

27. What is your best childhood memory? There are so many…

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Dog – but I love cats too!

29. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

30. Been in a car accident? A couple of fender-benders many years ago.

31. Any pet peeves? People who don’t signal when driving

32. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Salami and mushrooms

33. Favorite Flower? Sunflower

34. Favorite ice cream? Strawberry

35. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell

36 How many times did you fail your driver's test? Once.

37. From whom did you get your last email? Junk mail

38. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Credit cards are eeeeevill

39. Do anything spontaneous lately? Bought fall bedding on Friday…so I’m a couple months early – I love autumn, k?

40. Like your job? Love it!

41. Broccoli? Nope

42. What was your favorite vacation? Hawaii in 1985

43. Last person you went to dinner with? My mom

44. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my keyboard

45. What is your favorite color? Green

46. How many tattoos do you have? Three

47. How many are you tagging for this quiz? I don’t tag

48. What time is it? 8:50 am PST

49. Coffee Drinker? Only mochas – I never drink straight coffee